It has been a while for now.
So, I finally got my last CGPA for the entire semesters for my undergraduate degree.
I got 3.59, which is kind of annoying since I really want to round it off to 3.60. Although I know that I was short of 0.1 to score the first class cut off point, I still could do better had it been I was just a nerdy student. No need to focus on other actvities etc. But, that is not what university is all about. University life is all about life and balance that we need to manage when we actually do not really have the time to to do so many things in one time.
You guys can imagine, it is not that easy especially in the First and Second Year of the degree course in UM had not been like a walk in the path because so many stuffs appeared to be congesting the amount of time that is left. I did not know how people like one of batchmates seemingly managed to overcome all sorts of challenges although he was not that type of geeky genius after all. Plus, I am no that into my course because Geology is a complex subject much complex thatn Biology and Chemistry.
Especially, she who must not be named. She consistently got into Dean's list for all consecutive semesters until at one point, all people around her felt perplexed because she could still got an A- for those people who only managed to get a B+ and below. I am totally astonished by this creation of life because she got everything that she wanted in academics. Good grades, good understanding of knowledge without feeling that a person knows nothing about it, and good people around her, She would just happily traverse all those paths in a seemingly graceful manner. I did not want to brag about myself, but I used to be a top student in my school during my so-called Renaissance Era aka Zaman Kegemilangan. However, fast forward to pre-university life, I got a little of the track that I was supposed to follow because I started to feel those subjects as somethings that are so thoroughly and remotely difficult and I could not comprehend all sorts of stuffs into my tiny head compartment. That started off my Zaman Kejatuhan or Zaman Gelap (Dark Ages) as you can say about it.
Things turned out the opposite way for she who must not be named. She started off quite above average performance in her upper secondary school, with a little A+ than mine, and she even got a slight higher CGPA than mine in the pre-u study.
Well, you can't change the fact that it is already the past and we cannot afford to alter any single outcome that had already came out. So I guess we just have to deal with the fact the she is the genius in my batch and no one could ever beat her for the entire semesters. Who did not want to graduate with a streaking record of 3.90? Everyone wanted to be the best student, to get those BUKU HADIAH PERSATUAN GEOLOGI and Another " Buku Award" that I could not vividly recall the name.
So, it was just a matter of luck basically. But it was not luck. People in my religion would say it is some sort of qada and qadar or some sort of fate that is bestowed upon all people even before their births to the world. They just have to deal with the fact that "that is just the amount of bounty that should be given to you". In this case, maybe I was just destined to get a CGPA or 3.6 and not the first class like I always dream off in the first year.
You would say that I am indeed jealous of her. To be frank, I am jealous of her, but in a good manner and with a good competitive nature to be the best among the best. I would just have to say to her congratulations for being the best student in the batch. As for me, being in top 10 of my class out of a total of 50+ candidates is not that bad after all. Well, I suppose that should suffice for reclaiming my failure in previous exam results.
Somehow, I could not hate my lecturers for giving low results for my entire exam results as it will lead to "rezeki tak berkat" issue but i GUESS I DESERVED the low marks most probably because I was not bold enough to ask simple questions to these people whom I knew since the first semester in the university. But, I could not blaming myself because I consistently answered all the past years for all subjects and to some extent, I even memorized most of the answers to ensure I got a high mark for that subject. I guess memorizing along is not just enough for you to score well in the exams. That is what keep bothering me for most of the time because ALL THE HARDWORKS have led to not much of a success after all. I just blatantly accused this because it did not just happen in the first semester, but the entire semesters of my undergraduate degrees.
This has been a challenging time for me, mentally and physically because I got so much into trouble for not being the best as I could. I knew that, deep down in my heart, I could still score much higher than what I could get know because if I worked harder, logically I would get better result. Somehow, I lost my grip along the way and I could only recover those struggle in the last semesters of my entire studies here in UM. Not to blame the activities etc, but I just felt that most of my batchmates just like to hang out and buat relaks-relaks as if nothing had happened eventhough they knew that they are not performing well in their academics. No wonder they did not get much excellent results because probably it is not much of a great deal to them after all.
You can call me as cliche as you want, but I still believe both academics and co-co and personal values need to come along excellently, and not just being great in one aspect only. Life is not about CGPA after all, but somehow, it does determine what and where your life goes on. Tipulah kalau cakap CGPA TAK PENTING. Those who think otherwise might be jealous of others or they are too lazy to turn over the new leafs and have better discipline in life.
p/s: Enter UM with 3.67(PASUM) and Go out of UM with 3.60(Bsc Geology). Used to remember this statement when my ex-principal in SERATAS used to tell me about consistent achievement in academics. Sorry to disappoint you Puan for not being able to get the first class as you would always wish me for. I will not surrender or succumb to any failure that I have made in the past as I always think that future is the only entity that you can carefully change in a fashion that you want although it might not turn out as what you expect.
