Aim bigger and Higher

The days have gone by.  Only to be marked with the changing weather of the tropical storm in the evening. So far, I have received an interview and an offer. However, after getting through the interview and offered a career employment at GNP, I have decided to put it aside for some reasons that I don’t even know up until today. Perhaps, I can express the feelings through my words here, in this latest post.

For your information, this was my second job interview (right after KUMON) that occurred in the same month of March 2015. Well, to cut it pretty short, I managed to go to the office for the interview. It was quite brief with 5 more interviews in the same room. Thus, I just expected to do well for my interview for the sake of the experience, apart from landing on a career at the organization. I could tell you that the company was pretty big and diverse, with its myriad of Chinese-looking and Malay-looking officers, most probably and arduously focusing on their respective responsibilities.

It was the waiting that took me so long to get through the hour. Once the interview started, it all felt like the same cyclical process of “Who are you and Tell me about yourself kind of thing” and many more blasé questions that you would expect in any organization that you are applying to work for.

The fateful day had come and I got the offer. I did not know how to say it in words, but I had to consider from its rewards and allowances, work locations, and even working hours. I know some of you might say I am bit choosy, but isn’t it not too much when all I just hope it, I can have that satisfaction or fulfillment in working. It does not really matter if your wages is not that much at the first place because of the fact that fresh graduates don’t have much experience either. Thus, working experience compensates salary and other financial perks. However, it is more than that. Given the fact that the working days are 6 days per week with lots of on-site responsibilities, the possibilities of achieving the state of fulfillment in working is getting dimmer and lesser. For that reason, I let it slip from my clutch of future path.

I just wanted the best in myself. Some say that no matter how much effort you put in getting something in your life, God ultimately decides whether it will pay off or turn otherwise. My other batch mates might got the jobs probably because they don’t even care of they have to work in any company. Well it is their choice and not to mention (average students tend to “terima apa saja” and “padanlah dapat dengan gred macam tu” and “rezeki dah tu,bersyukurlah”). How could I compare myself with them? I don’t mean to put cynical remarks or look down upon them, but it appears that I have a much bigger scope to plan for myself, even if it might not turn out the way it should be. Nevertheless, I just wish, pray and try my best effort in getting the thing that matters most, which is the job that can give me the urge to work for even if the pay might not be as exorbitantly high as most other batch mates dream of.

Of course, I choose to work for which company, but it does not necessarily mean that I am choosy or picky with what I am being offered. Some might say, “Ramai lagilah yang nak daripada kau yang nak memilih sangat tu” and many more excuses, but it is my heart that says I need to achieve something more than this. That’s why I did my best in my study, trying to get the best result as possible. Also, I have tried to join as much activities as possible to prove that I just wanted the best in everything that I do. From primary school right up until university. No pun intended but for others, they are just equals, they don’t bother much if their academics flunk, all they need to consider is too pass their subjects and play football and play video games for countless hours. That probably explains their satisfaction in lives apart from performing your obligations to the Creator. “Dah korang tu study dapat result biasa dan dah memang target biasa ja, memangla nak terima apa saja jelah”. “Main game memanjang,tak salah main game cuma mcm tulah, susah nak explain sebab suasana dan persaingan dulu pun lain, sebab tulah tak rasa apa sangat pun”. See? I don’t mean anything but to show that I just don’t do thing like “lantaklah,yang penting lulus dan buat biasa je”. I just want to do my best in life and let God do the rest. It does not mean that I defy the fates that God had bestowed upon me before I was born on this world.

For that purpose, I started to roll out my plan for my future pathways. Postgraduate study, working privately or in government, lecturer’s scheme, business in investment or properties, you name it. I have all of them in my thoughts. I know that God had already planned the life for me. But isn’t human has the options to determine what life might turn out to be. It depends on one’s effort to change his life and his fate.  So, what I am hoping next is that I just keep applying for all the companies’ offer and universities’ scheme as much as I can. From there, I can start to determine what options I should further undertake to go to next level in life. I don’t believe in discriminating others just because he or she has lower academic grades, or just working at a lower status with lower pay and so on, but I do believe that everyone can do the best in everything that they do and feel satisfied with they keep doing for the rest of their life. As for me, through countless contemplation, prayers and deep thoughts, GNP does not currently or even possibly in the future offer me that. I am sorry GNP but, sooner or later if I have the opportunity to hear stories from the company, maybe someday I will be able to join it too.

That’s enough for now. I will make the second version of this post in the coming weeks. Perhaps, with a more detailed explanation about the company and also the pathways that I want to fulfill in my life.

p/s: IELTS done. Just need to apply for universities and scholarship/convertible loan. Keep applying more and more jobs. More details to come in the next post. Sorry GNP, who knows when the time comes, I feel indebted to this company and will ultimately contribute to this organization. I prayed to God every single day that my life will be easier as it goes by.

p/s 2: I am interested in business (Gold/food/property etc) like my batchmates Syahmi Azizi, Hanif  Barzani and Naimmudin Nasib (Abong) do, but I just don't think it is the right time yet. In fact Ahmad Farhan (Paan) starts to show an interest in property investment after going to the seminar the other day as proposed by Fatin Fareha (Atin). But again, not now, I supposed.