Will I?

Thinking back on how fast we have changed, it makes us wonder that we somehow have to face certain adjustments from time to time. Be it good or bad, I always remind myself that I will have to keep myself going and strong.

For the past few weeks, I had started reading a book by Prof Kamil (If you don’t know, then I suggest you go to another planet if you are a Malay Malaysian) entitled “Hadiah Buat Anak” or something like that. From what I read, I could conclusively say that my life struggle is almost the same as him, maybe better than him slightly.

I wished to go to overseas ever since I was a boy. I am always fascinated by the grandeur architecture of historical monuments in Europe and North America. The opportunity to ride an aeroplane for 13-20 hours just to reach the ultimate destination. The natural view of the Alps and Cliff of Moher in IRELAND.

At the same time, I aspired to study at foreign universities. But, due to my own stupidity, carelessness and lack of attention of various applications, I did not manage to get one.

What makes me more disappointed was the fact that some other friends of mine whose results are similar to mine managed to land on a foreign scholarship, enabling them to travel other countries and ultimately posting pictures on their social medias and “Salam Perantauan” column.

I know that Allah will DETERMINE the fate for each of His followers, but the pain was just too difficult to bear on my own shoulders. Imagine your long-awaited visions since childhood just banished in the blink of an eye, no longer to be seen forever.

Going back to MKI, he encountered the same fate when he did not manage to obtain the sponsorship that he thought that he could get. Unfortunately, his own denial and arrogance paid a price for his future when he “failed” miserably (considering the current inflation of excellent results with 30 years of history) and did not get what he wanted, which was to pursue Law in the UK before becoming the Prime Minister of Malaysia in the future.

Due to his own negligence, he did not learn from his mistakes, costing him to enroll in multiple colleges before he finally managed to get the Young Tutors’ Scheme from UITM as a result of his impressive results in his undergraduate study. And 10 years later, he did go to overseas and pursued his study there with his family.

You see, life is somewhat mysterious. It is beyond our control by any means. However, there are 2 things that will help us to get what we want in life.

First, efforts after efforts. Second, always pray and ask to our Superior to grant what we always wish for. He knows what is his best for you, and sometimes with the power of doa, you can still get what you want.

So here am I, in the year of 2016, I am wondering, will I be able to study or work overseas someday? Of course, I want it. It will never be erased from my entire life’s memory for as long as I am still alive. For the time being, I am going to make full use of what I have so that I would not take it for granted when the opportunity is longer there. If the PTD thingy is still available in the future, I hope that I can be a diplomat so that I will fulfill one of my ambitions that I yet to become.

p/s: Insyallah, one fine day.